Stately Home Kitsch
In which I moan about the state of our heritage
I had the misfortune to go viral over Christmas. At the start of December, I made a throwaway comment on X about trigger warnings at the opera, and ended up fielding hundreds of comments and shares from, among others, Graham Linehan and Ricky Gervais. Then, just before I was about to finish work on December 20th, I had a Google alert informing me that I was mentioned in the Daily Mail, The Telegraph and GB News. I thought these would be online stories, but my mother texted me to say that I was quoted on page five of the Sunday Telegraph, and I also found the ‘story’ in Private Eye.
It’s for this reason that I’ve held off publishing the following post, in which I rail against Christmas-themed extravaganzas at British stately homes. Now the dust has settled on my festive celebrity, I guess it’s safe to press publish …
It all started with a pre-Christmas visit to Hardwick Hall in Derbyshire. We had finished work and were looking forward to seeing gorgeous tapestries, the portrait of Bess of Hardwick and one of the most important examples of 16th-century furniture in Europe: the Sea Dog Table. Nevertheless, on arrival we realised that the National Trust had something called “Hardwick Wintertide” underway which was, in effect, a taste of a Tudor Christmas. I thought that sounded fascinating, and it would have been - had they actually done it. Instead, we were greeted with a kiddie-themed trail to find the “Lord of Misrule” in which all the curtains were closed and tents littered the Long Gallery.
I thought at the very least we might be told that modern ideas of Christmas are essentially Victorian, but there was very little in the way of captions. The whole experience was, if I’m honest, very disappointing.
Not that I want to single-out Hardwick Hall because the problem is, sadly, much wider than this. We witnessed similar madness a few years ago at Chatsworth House in Derbyshire and hoped that Hardwick might have been a much sober experience, which in some ways it was (in the sense that I couldn’t see anything without my iPhone torch). Regarding Hardwick’s neighbour, Chatsworth, I recalled seeing a documentary earlier this year in which a digital music box fell off its stand onto the floor of the chapel - it was a miracle that the 300-year-old fabric was not damaged.
Why this enthusiasm for decking the halls with Christmas crud? Well for the cash, obviously, but stately homes are also competing with each other in an arms-race of silliness, much of which involves digital effects. We might fondly imagine that kids will get a taste for culture from attending stately homes at Christmas but when the artworks are covered in more bling than Barbie Duchess of Diamonds, you have to wonder: are they even noticing them?
I could put up with this if it were confined to Christmas, but it’s spreading like wildfire. At Blenheim Palace last May, we witnessed the Icons of British Fashion exhibition which I blogged about here. It was a wasted journey for me, since I went to look at the art and interiors but was confronted instead with a load of mannequins disporting themselves, a TV crew filming Blenheim Palace: Behind the Grandeur, and a theatre group setting fire to themselves in the park. Blenheim gives people unlimited visits per year on one ticket, but in order to encourage repeats, it offers exhibitions, gin tastings, sporting events etc. I know they need to pay for the upkeep of a large building, but does anyone give a toss about the Battle of Blenheim?
While these tawdry shows are doing tired parents a favour, I worry that, by not showing the interiors properly or making an effort to communicate their significance, stately homes are sending a message that history is boring and irrelevant. A friend of mine, who teaches the subject at university-level, always says she will not let her students “click their way to a degree”. For anyone keen on history, it’s those moments in the archive - handling documents and historic objects - which bring real joy, but this point needs reiterating in a world of smart-phone addiction. If there’s no reverence for real experiences, you end up like Croombe Abbey: with bored toddlers scribbling on statues with crayons.
There’s one National Trust property I shall not bother to visit - despite its proximity - and that’s Sudbury Hall in Derbyshire, which has been “made into a children’s attraction with photo-booth, mirror ball and speech bubbles placed next to portraits”. Although a member of the Vernon family, whose father donated the Hall to the National Trust, complained about this ghastly business, the Trust’s reaction has been to double-down on its own nonsense: “An insinuation that the National Trust is dumbing down is simply wrong” it said in a statement.
Oh I’m with you on this, 100%! Not just NT properties too…look at some of the CBSO’s ideas for attracting new audiences 😬🙄
Historic Royal Palaces, too. When I visited Kensington Palace in the summer of 2023, it was not only mobbed, perhaps to be expected in high season, but also full of an ill-conceived modern fashion exhibition that obscured much of what I'd come to see. It was a relief to go to Hampton Court the next day and find it merely mobbed.